Cold Reads — Everybody Loves Large Chests, Volume 9: Jackson - Soundbooth Theater (2024)

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WARNING! Incomplete, UNSTABLE audio. Listen at own risk!

• Raw audio of upcoming audiobook
• No edits — includes chatting, mess-ups, cursing and laughing
• Available for a limited time! (Until complete version is published to Audible)

It’s amazing what the lack of immediate threat to one’s life and wellbeing can do for a person’s disposition. High risk, high reward endeavors suddenly seem far less appealing, month-long delays are no longer a cause for concern, and sleeping in every single day of the week becomes an extremely attractive proposition. Indeed, without a pressing need to aggressively expand its power, Boxxy T. Morningwood is finally able to simply sit back, enjoy life, and watch the world both turn and burn. Questions such as ‘Who started those fires?’ and ‘Should I do something about them?’ are answered with ‘Don’t know’ and ‘Don’t care.’ Having finally achieved the slow life it never knew it wanted, Boxxy is quite unwilling to jeopardize its newfound safety for no good reason.

Of course, old habits die hard. Acquiring things of the tasty and/or shiny variety remain an enticing goal, as does the steady accumulation of power. Just because it no longer has the threat of death looming over it doesn’t mean that the once-mimic won’t take the occasional calculated risk in exchange for immense personal gain. Admittedly, developments outside its predictions will inevitably put carefully laid plans to waste, but that’s how it always has been and always will be. Boxxy will deal with those issues in the same manner it always has – with cunning ingenuity, brutal efficiency, and old-fashioned dumb luck. Despite what one might think, all three of those traits can be nurtured and improved, even something as seemingly unreliable as good fortune. Especially good fortune.

The time for the Hero of Chaos to get thrown about by the whims of fate is over, and it is now Boxxy’s turn to make the world bend to its will, starting with the savage orcs of the far south.