Cold Reads — Everybody Loves Large Chests, Volume 10: Law - Soundbooth Theater (2024)

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It would appear that, after two years of relative slacking, the Hero of Chaos is once again facing an ever-growing workload. Boxxy had been quite fortunate to obtain an exceptionally potent pawn with very little effort, but that was still effort it did not intend to expend. Sensing it might get dragged into things it really doesn’t want to bother with, the creature makes haste to depart Velos and its orcs so that it may continue its private preparations for the upcoming Dragon Festival. Of course, it’s never that easy. First, it has to make good on a deal it made to babysit not one, not two, but three spoiled brats. Normally it would just refuse, or at the very least just lock them up in a dungeon somewhere. Unfortunately, neither of those are attractive options when this job involves the deceitful shapeshifter’s natural enemy – the Holy Inquisition of the Goddess of Truth and Justice, headed by Teresa’s latest chosen Hero, Sigmund Law.

Boxxy really doesn’t want to deal with any of that. It’s got treasure to plunder, Levels to grind, and a bottomless pit of a belly to fill, to name a few things on its agenda. Aside from having better things to do, the very idea of this bothersome chore runs contrary to its monstrous instincts, not to mention it’s absolutely nonsensical. What sort of weirdo thinks a wolf in sheep’s clothing is the best candidate to look after three little pigs? The God of Uncertainty, that’s who. It’s a rare order from the big kettle himself, and Boxxy must comply or find itself stripped of the divine gifts that are vital to maintaining its public image. Between suffering through this inane task for the time being or watching its nation-spanning web of lies unravel, the choice is obvious. So, for better or worse, the industrious box gets busy figuring out how to squeeze ‘babysitting’ into its schedule.

Only to have those plans instantly shatter when it returns home to find the place in ruins.